Completely fake conversations between Applegrant and their editor/marketing department

[tobiahawk.livejournal.com]

Given a lot of the darker elements in the books, I sometimes crack myself up imagining conversations between Applegrant and their marketing/editing department (This obviously just for fun, not reflective of reality, long live Scholastic for bringing us this awesome series). For example:

-Applegrant: "...And then the teenager snaps and starts systematically hunting down and murdering the main characters in cold blood. Oh, and he kills someone and throws his body down an elevator shaft in order to steal his identity."

E/MD: "You know who this book would be good for?  Eight year-olds!"

-Applegrant: "So, the book starts in an alternate universe where all the main characters are either dead/imprisoned or facists and their country is leading a racist genocidal war. We play this totally straight for like 20 pages."

Editor: "There's no sex, right?"

Applegrant: "No."

Editor: "Okay, good."

-Applegrant: "...and then the main character is tortured with alternating pleasure and pain and relives his emotional abusive childhood as a result, forcing him to soil himself and almost go insane. And the person torturing him is a deranged, captive teenage girl who reminds him of his girlfriend."

Editor: "There's no teen drinking here, right? If there is, we need a PSA somewhere about the dangers of teen drinking,.."

Have fun! :)

Comments

[kiriska.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha, these are great. XD

"Then he spends the whole book grappling with the fact that he can see the perfect plan to murder his mother, who's currently the highest ranking commander of the enemy force."

[kiriska.livejournal.com]

"They break up because she stopped him from killing his brother and in the process, handed over their greatest weapon to the enemy."

Editor: "So normal teenage love spat."

"So they recruit all these disabled kids into the war because they knew no one else cared about or wanted them."

[tobiahawk.livejournal.com]

Editor: And the disabled kids are inspirational angels, right?
Applegrant: No, they're regular people, with strengths and flaws.
Editor/MD: Oh. Hey, you know what animal would look cool ON the cover? An owl. Write that in.

[ferahgo.livejournal.com]

"Also, all the disabled kids end up dying in the final battle."

[tobiahawk.livejournal.com]

Editor: Just in a dream, right?
Applegrant: Uh, no. For real. As cannon fodder.
Editor: But the main characters generally have happy endings, right?
Applegrant: ....

[tobiahawk.livejournal.com]

Editor: So, a parent-child conflict. Okay. Does it end with a heart-touching conversation?

Applegrant: He tells her he loves her as she shoves her off a cliff.


Editor: The cliff's metaphorical, right?

Applegrant: Uh, no.

Editor: Ah. But he says "I love you." Got it. Very touching.