Anyone up for a lovely dish of Mad Libs crack?

[natural-blue-26.livejournal.com]

Now that the polar bear who my money is on as Marco has your attention, someone passed on this wonderful, quick, insane crack!fic spewing Mad Libs maker on fandomsecrets today, and since we've been a bit quiet around here lately (and there seems to be a generally appreciation for occasional silliness here), I just had to pay this forward..

Your challenge, should you choose to accept, is to go forth and make every (intentionally cracky) crack pairing tangent we've ever had at this comm look sane and well thought through, and then come back and post the results below in the comments for the amusement of all.

Go! :D

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The Sexy Terror of the Snow - Visser Three/Elfangor

[the-element-air.livejournal.com]

(If this is too much, I apologize.)

It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Elfangor and Visser Three went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Elfangor hit Visser Three in his left nipple with a big eager iceball. It hurt a lot, but Elfangor kissed it lustfully and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really hard snow man!" Elfangor said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Visser Three said. "That would be more pantsless and politically correct."

"I know," Elfangor said. "We can make a snow fartbat. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up eagerly and made an irresistable snow fartbat. Elfangor put on a children's card game for the pinkie finger. The fartbat was almost as big as Visser Three.

"It looks erect," Elfangor said teasingly. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Visser Three said and held up a horny dildo. "I found this next to a strip joint." He put the dildo onto the fartbat's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the fartbat, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a teammate's boyfriend's wooden bat to Nancy Kerrigan's knees.

Visser Three screamed quickly and ran but the snow fartbat chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow fartbat farted him gingerly.

"Nobody does that to my little Bulbous Broken Condom," Elfangor screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow fartbat through the flank. It fell down and Elfangor kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Visser Three said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The dildo lay in the yard until a vibrating child picked it up and took it home.