A Strange, Strange Occurrence

[sylverlining.livejournal.com]

Bizarre-ass story commence! 

So my grandparents are in town and staying with us. I am not very happy about this, as they are... frankly, awful, awful people who disapprove of me and my immediate family in nearly every way (particularly religiously - yay, we're all heathens, gonna go to hell! But they're fine with eating our food!), are manipulative, critical, EXTREMELY negative, and very, VERY nosy. My grandmother in particular will start digging through our stuff and snooping through shit WHILE WE'RE IN THE ROOM.

And yesterday she did this in mine. Just randomly comes in and starts pulling stuff out of my bookshelves, looking in my closet for God knows what, and I just kind of sit there and pretend she isn't there, because if you say the SLIGHTEST word of "excuse me, but could you pretty-please not dig through my stuff?" - she starts to cry. Rather, FAKE-CRY. :| It's the most God-awful thing in the world and I didn't feel like dealing with it.

Plus, I have nothing to hide. I threw out my drug stash before they got here. (...KIDDING. xD)

I HAVE A RELEVANT POINT HERE, I PROMISE! D:

Anyway! 

She picks up my copy of The Hork-Bajir Chronicles, and starts messing with it, glaring at the cover and going "THE... HORK... BAY-JERR... CHRONICLES?"

And I'm anticipating some tirade about "WHY ARE YOU READING ABOUT BLADED DRAGON DEMONS AND EVIL SATANIC CENTAURS, YOU DEVIL-CHILD?!", so I just say very briefly "yeah, it's just a book I like." Hoping she'll just... go away. MAYBE IF I HOLD VERY, VERY STILL, SHE WON'T SEE ME AND SHE'LL GO AWAY.

She doesn't. Instead... she kind of creeps across the room to me and gives this weird glance around the room like someone might hear. Then she leans in and goes in this weird conspiratorial tone, like she's telling me a BIG SECRET...

"You know... I've read some of these... chronicles." With the WEIRDEST emphasis on the last word.

And I'm like, "Oh! Uh... did you like them?" because I cannot quite believe what I am hearing. My grandmother has not read the Hork-Bajir Chronicles. No she has not. She didn't even know how to say 'Hork-Bajir' and is clearly seeing this book for the first time in her life. So why in the world is she telling me this?

She just nods, very... SAGELY, I guess, like - again - that she knows a big secret she's letting me in on, or something... and goes "Yes. The Chronicles." 
And then she puts the book down... and just sort of wanders out of the room. 

D:

And I'm just kind of going... what... in the WORLD... just happened?

MY GRANDMOTHER, AS FAR AS I KNOW, IS NOT SENILE. D: She is lucid and has her faculties, and aside from being quite possibly Nosy, Critical Evil Incarnate, is a perfectly normal 85-year-old. Who I am CERTAIN has never so much as heard of Animorphs, much less read anything of it. 

So... WHAT? D: There are a few possibilities here:

1) My grandmother has finally really freakin' lost it. 
2) She's totally messing with me and having a bizarre kind of laugh. (...this is actually LIKELY. My family really is this messed-up.)
3) SHE REALLY HAS READ THE HORK-BAJIR CHRONICLES. 0_0
4) She's trying to give me some SECRET MESSAGE, because it sure as HELL seemed like "CHRONICLES" was code for something, but frick if I know WHAT.

I am so confused.
But now I have to find out about this. I just have to. THE CHRONICLES, YOU GUYS, THE CHRONICLES.

...I may report back if more weirdness is discovered.
 

Comments

[angary.livejournal.com]

This! But that would mean David is Jesus, then o_O

[sylverlining.livejournal.com]

Well now Jesus is a screaming rat who gives everyone nightmares.

[cxrdevil.livejournal.com]

Does this mean Rachel is Mary Magdalene?

[sylverlining.livejournal.com]

No, because Mary Magdalene actually LIKED Jesus.

[almighty-patsy.livejournal.com]

This could not be more amusing if it was out of context.

[sylverlining.livejournal.com]

xD AWESOME.

I feel like I should make that my sig somewhere. Or write a weird poem about it or... SOMETHING. It's just a WEIRD STRING OF WORDS THAT I LIKE.

[angary.livejournal.com]

David being trapped in rat morph is TOTALLY an analogy of Jesus being betrayed and crucified, then descending into Hell. Only, in the case of Animorphs, David gave into Crayak - Satan - after he fell, and then his deal majorly backfired on him. Oh, David *shakes head*

Anyway, if Jake acquired a lion morph and mixed it with the tiger, that would've been the best thing ever, IMO. Liger!Jesus rules!

[sylverlining.livejournal.com]

So in this case, Jesus kind of became, like, Satan Jr. D:

[sylverlining.livejournal.com]

And HELL YEAH LIGER JAKE. xDD Ho frick.

Ye know, maybe it's just me being dorky but I ALWAYS WISHED THEY'D have like, combined horse and eagle DNA and made fucking PEGASI AND SHIT. >D

[angary.livejournal.com]

OMG that would've been amazing! Part of me always wanted to see them morph mythical animals in some type of AU world the Ellimist created, but I was pretty happy with Megamorphs 2.

[sylverlining.livejournal.com]

D: I don't remember what happens in Megamorphs 2. Bawww.

[angary.livejournal.com]

They go through a Sario Rip and end up in the late Cretaceous period. It's awesome, and there's an incredibly intense scene of how the group reacts to morphing T-Rex. If you have a copy, I highly recommend re-reading it! I think I might do that now myself, actually... *heads to bookshelf*

[lisacharly.livejournal.com]

OMG dude, Megamorphs 2 sucks so hard and yet it never fails to turn me into a screaming, excited eight year-old freaking out over how cool the dinosaurs are.

[angary.livejournal.com]

Oh, totally, the dinosaurs were ace. But wait, why do you think Megamorphs 2 sucks? Not trying to start an argument; I'm genuinely curious and love getting others' perspectives on fannish stuff. Was it the war between the Mercora and the Nesk that was bad? The repeated usage of the Sario Rip? (Feel free to PM me if you'd prefer doing that!)

brb lmao at your icon XD

[lisacharly.livejournal.com]

Eh, just from the storytelling perspective, there's a ton wrong with MM2.

-Sario Rips can be be caused by nuclear explosions? Really? It's all the funnier when you realize KA does this exact scenario in Everworld, too. KA THAT'S NOT HOW NUCLEAR POWER WORKS.
-Shamelessly changing the rules of morphing to fit the story better (Tobias' broken wing)
-Tobias casually commits genocide and Marco develops Good Samaritan Syndrome (did these two just switch personalities or something?)
-The Mercora speak English because they spied on the Animorphs (really? really?)
-KA didn't do all the research she needed to on the Cretaceous period and even has Tobias mention it at the end
-The entire book is just a shameless exercise in getting the Animorphs to turn into dinosaurs

On the other hand...the book is an exercise in getting the Animorphs to turn into dinosaurs, so I love it. Also, Rachel and Tobias are so cute together in this book, Ax gets a crowning moment of awesome, and for some reason the mental image of Marco crying, morphing and running from the T-Rex all at once stuck with me for the nine years between finishing the series as a child and picking it up as an adult. It's also the only Anis book that I recall having in the bathroom to read at my leisure for two or three years after the series ended, because OMG DINOS.

[angary.livejournal.com]

Ahhh, okay, I definitely see where you're coming from now. I've always loved MM2 because of the action scenes and yeah, the Animorphs getting to turn into T-Rex was EPIC to me, so I kind of handwaved all the little issues like Tobias's wing away when I first read the book. Re-reading it now and considering the points you laid out does give me a different perspective in that, yeah, there were definitely much more "how convenient..." issues in this book going on, so thanks for laying out all your opinions for me.

I especially never gave much thought to Tobias's and Marco's characterizations, but I can still roll with Tobias's because he had already gone through so much time being stuck in a raptor morph that he became a lot more ruthless in general by this point - plus I don't think it was a casual decision on his part; he seemed very upset when he was explaining his choice to the others. And Marco... Well, I couldn't find the part where he was displaying GSS like you said - he and Rachel voted against giving the Mercora back the nuke so they could use it against the comet - but maybe I skimmed over that, so I'll do a closer read. I totally, totally agree with you on the Sario Rip and the morphing rule, though.

[lisacharly.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but two issues later Tobias is angsting about killing bunnies for breakfast! Cassie seems more upset about killing a Triceratops than Tobias is about betraying and obliterating an entire sentient race!

As for Marco, it's the scene at the beginning of the series where he gets the group together to go save the submarine. Given that the last time Marco did a deed for Teh Altruisms he ended up getting shot at in a dark alleyway, it rings as just a bit false. I mean, pretty much any other character besides Ax would have made more sense for moving that plot along. Rachel because she's Rachel and likes doing stuff like that, Jake because he at that point still has a very clear view of right or wrong, Tobias because he'd want to feel useful, Cassie because she's a bleeding heart. Even Marco says "I don't know why I care" and it's like "THAT'S NOT AN EXPLANATION KA HE NEEDS A REASON". I love Marco but it's kind of his thing to be all "let's NOT risk our lives for total strangers kk?".

[angary.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, you're right! I forgot about the bunny angst. Also, I went back and read the first chapter; didn't catch that before about Marco. I love him too and yes, I agree that it was sloppy writing to have him call the others' attention to that sort of thing. Since I don't think Cassie normally watches TV, Rachel should've been the one telling everyone about the submarine and Marco could have still been the introductory character, showing up at the meeting and grousing about missing a show, as he does.

[cxrdevil.livejournal.com]

ALSO TOBIAS IS A DINO NERD BABY <3

#1 reason we like mm2

[lisacharly.livejournal.com]

OMG I KNOW add that to my list of things I like in MM2!

[clayin.livejournal.com]

*saves this in her "unreasonably funny internet quotes" list*

[cxrdevil.livejournal.com]

Oh thank goodness! If God can forgive David and resurrect him, I'm definitely going to Heaven

[sylverlining.livejournal.com]

YOU KNOW, AS A TTLY LOVING UNIVERSALIST/PANTHEIST, I GENERALLY BELIEVE THAT EVERYBODY GOES TO HEAVEN EVENTUALLY.

BUT DAVID GIVES ME A HARD TIME WITH THAT. D:

CAPSLOCK.

[cxrdevil.livejournal.com]

lol i am not religiously affiliated or educated so i only say things like this in jest no harm intended

[sylverlining.livejournal.com]

Oh dude don't worry, that was not a commentary on you or even religion in general, just on how much of an UNBELIEVABLE DOUCHE/PSYCHOPATH DAVID IS. xD