I still don't really agree that Tobias ever though she was dead. I mean, that's always a possibility but dilemmas involving *is she/he dead or is she/he alive* happen so frequently in this series that, I don't know, they either lose their urgency or I believe that all the Animorphs secretly know no one's actually dead. Even in MM3, when Jake got the back of his head blown off, it never felt like they were actively mourning him. I think the line you cited is just cheap angst to fill space.
Having said that, I also disagree about how psychosis works. I don't think it's a switch or an umbrella, like "you are either rational or irrational," I think it's more of a marginal thing. Like you start off rational, and as more time goes on and more stuff happens to you, you slowly sacrifice bits of rationality to cope with the pain. I think Tobias' thought process probably went something like this:
"I can't give anyone away. I won't. If I give one of them away, I give them all away, and that's all there is."
"Fuck this hurts."
"I can't give anyone away. But if I did, who would it be? Marco probably, that jerk. But no, they get Marco, they get all of us."
"Man this hurts."
"Maybe I can just give Marco away. If she was happy with that, she might let me go, and I could still rescue him. A momentary surrender for a long-term victory. Marco would agree that's good strategy."
"Holy God this hurts."
"All right, so I'll give up Marco, but what if she's not satisfied? Who next? Well if Marco's gone, they'll go after Jake b/c they're best friends, and then Cassie...yeah, it will stop there."
"Please God help me"
"Ax. I'll have to give up Ax. They won't be able to find him. Only I know where he is. They'll be happy with that. So Marco and Ax. Might as well give up Jake and Cassie anyway, make them happy."
"This is it, isn't it?"
"But not Rachel. They can have them all, but not Rachel."
idk. I think you can talk yourself out of sanity. That's what makes being a human so goddamn scary.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2010-03-02 05:10 pm (UTC)I still don't really agree that Tobias ever though she was dead. I mean, that's always a possibility but dilemmas involving *is she/he dead or is she/he alive* happen so frequently in this series that, I don't know, they either lose their urgency or I believe that all the Animorphs secretly know no one's actually dead. Even in MM3, when Jake got the back of his head blown off, it never felt like they were actively mourning him. I think the line you cited is just cheap angst to fill space.
Having said that, I also disagree about how psychosis works. I don't think it's a switch or an umbrella, like "you are either rational or irrational," I think it's more of a marginal thing. Like you start off rational, and as more time goes on and more stuff happens to you, you slowly sacrifice bits of rationality to cope with the pain. I think Tobias' thought process probably went something like this:
"I can't give anyone away. I won't. If I give one of them away, I give them all away, and that's all there is."
"Fuck this hurts."
"I can't give anyone away. But if I did, who would it be? Marco probably, that jerk. But no, they get Marco, they get all of us."
"Man this hurts."
"Maybe I can just give Marco away. If she was happy with that, she might let me go, and I could still rescue him. A momentary surrender for a long-term victory. Marco would agree that's good strategy."
"Holy God this hurts."
"All right, so I'll give up Marco, but what if she's not satisfied? Who next? Well if Marco's gone, they'll go after Jake b/c they're best friends, and then Cassie...yeah, it will stop there."
"Please God help me"
"Ax. I'll have to give up Ax. They won't be able to find him. Only I know where he is. They'll be happy with that. So Marco and Ax. Might as well give up Jake and Cassie anyway, make them happy."
"This is it, isn't it?"
"But not Rachel. They can have them all, but not Rachel."
idk. I think you can talk yourself out of sanity. That's what makes being a human so goddamn scary.