animorphslj | Broken: A Jake/Cassie Fanmix

Medium: Books
Fandom: Animorphs
Subject: Jake/Cassie
Title: “Broken”
Warnings: Spoilers for the end of the series!
Notes: Here's a fanmix dedicated to my favorite ship of the series (not to mention my first ever ship), Jake/Cassie. They don't seem to get nearly enough love in the Animorphs fandom.....See entry for more details.

Preview:

This fanmix focuses on the tragic disintegration of Jake and Cassie’s relationship in the final book of the series, when Jake becomes too ruined by the war and torn apart by guilt over his part in Tom’s and Rachel’s deaths to maintain relationships of any kind, let alone a romantic one with Cassie. The songs are arranged chronologically to tell the story of their relationship’s end, with the first song representing their strained relationship immediately after the final battle, when all hope for them was not yet lost, and the final song representing their final farewells. The second and third songs are more centered on Jake’s personal guilt, anguish and pain than on Jake/Cassie.

The title “Broken” refers to both Jake himself and Jake and Cassie’s relationship, both of which are “broken” by the war’s end.

1. “Broken” by Seether and Amy Lee

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

(Refrain)
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when your gone away

You've gone away...
You don't feel me here...
Anymore...

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough

Before the final battle Jake proposed to Cassie and said he wanted to be with her after the war ended. Here Cassie is saying that “we can breathe again” and be together now that the war with the Yeerks is over and there’s “no one left to fight.” She wants to “steal [Jake’s] pain” and doesn’t “feel right when [he’s] gone away.” But Jake is truly “broken,” so that he doesn’t “feel [her] there…anymore.”

2. “What I’ve Done” by Linkin Park

So let Mercy Come
And Wash Away
What I’ve Done

(Refrain)
I'll face myself
To Cross out what I’ve Become
Erase Myself
And let Go of What I’ve done

Put to rest
What you Thought of Me
While I clean this Slate
With the Hands of Uncertainty

For What I’ve Done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I’m Forgiving What I’ve Done!

After sending his cousin and fellow Animorph Rachel to her death killing his Yeerk-infested brother Tom—whom he had always hoped to save one day—and after ordering seventeen thousand helpless Yeerks to be murdered in cold blood as a diversion, Jake is torn apart by guilt and grief at “what I’ve done.” In this song he wishes he could “face myself” and “let go of what I’ve done.”

3. “Fallen” by Sarah McLachlan

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

(Refrain)
Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

By the end of the war Jake feels like he has “fallen” and “sunk so low,” that he “messed up” in killing those Yeerks as a diversion and sending Rachel to kill Tom. This song perfectly conveys his angsty and depressed feelings after the war, such as “the bitter taste of losing everything/ that [he had] held so dear” (Rachel, Tom, his parents for a while to infestation) and his awkward and strained relationship with his friends afterwards.

4. “Believe” by The Bravery

(Refrain)
So give me something to believe
‘Cause I am living just to breathe
And I need something more
To keep on breathing for
So give me something to believe

I am hiding from some beast
But the beast was always here
Watching without eyes
Because the beast is just my fear
That I am just nothing
Now its just what I've become

This song conveys Jake’s depression and despair after the war, especially the way in which, as Marco puts it, “he didn’t want anything” and “never seems to do anything.” He really does seem to be only “living just to breathe,” and has “become” “just nothing.” So I imagine in this song Jake is asking Cassie to “give [him] something to believe,” so that he has “something more/ to keep on breathing for.”

5. “Don’t Speak” by No Doubt

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me I can see us dying...are we?

I know you're good,
I know you're real good

Though she and Jake “used to be together” all the time, after the war Cassie senses that her relationship with Jake is not the same anymore, that he’s “letting go” and that “it’s all ending.” She can “see [them] dying” as a couple, and it hurts her.

6. “Torn” by Natalie Imbruglia

Well you couldn’t be that man I adored
You dont seem to know, dont seem to care what your heart is for
But I dont know him anymore
There’s nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That’s what’s going on, nothings fine I’m torn

There’s nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That’s what’s going on, nothings right, I’m torn

Cassie tries to come to grips with the “new,” “different” Jake after the war, who is not “that man I adored,” and whom she doesn’t know and can’t talk with. As Cassie notes, “Jake just wasn’t Jake anymore.”

7. “Beautiful Disaster” by Kelly Clarkson (Live Version)

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as damned as he seems….
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't right
It just ain't right

(Refrain)
Oh and I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster?

He's magic and myth
As strong as what I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see…

He’s soft to the touch
But frayed at the end he breaks
He’s never enough
And still he's more than I can take

He’s beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster

After the war Jake is a “beautiful disaster,” a “tragedy with/ more damage than a soul should see.” As Marco notes, “Jake carried Tom and Rachel and those seventeen thousand Yeerks around his neck like the Ancient Mariner and his albatross.” Erek’s last words to Cassie were, “Take care of Jake. He’s going to need you.” In this song, Cassie debates whether or not she should stay with Jake and try to “save him.”

8. “It Doesn’t Matter” by Alison Krauss and Union Station

It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
If you've made up your mind to go
I won't beg you to stay

It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Doesn't matter if I bleed
Feel the sting of tears
Falling on this face you've loved for years

Cassie realizes that “it doesn’t matter” what she wants or does, she cannot be with Jake now, with the depressed and listless state he’s in. Even though he still loves her, and “part of me wanted what we’d had in the old days, Cassie and me,” he doesn’t think it’s possible anymore, and she can’t change his mind or “beg him to stay.”

9. “Goodbye To You” by Michelle Branch

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Looks like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend and I say

(Refrain)
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

This song shows Cassie’s feelings when she finally decides to give up on Jake and move on to Ronnie, saying goodbye to Jake, “the one [she] loved,” and whom she “tried to hold on to” for so long. With Ronnie she is “starting all over again,” as if the “last three years” (the duration of the war with the Yeerks and her relationship with Jake) “were just pretend.”

10. “9 Crimes” by Damien Rice

Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time…..
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

(Refrain)
Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright with you?
If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it
Is that alright with you?
Give my gun away when it's loaded
Is that alright with you?
With you...

It's the wrong time
She's pulling me through
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse

Is that alright, yeah?
Is that alright, yeah?

Is that alright with you?

I see this as the final parting song between them, when three years after the battle Jake tells Cassie about the new mission to find Ax and she “knew I had said goodbye to Jake forever.” Here they both acknowledge that they are over, and that Cassie has moved on to Ronnie, and are asking each other if that’s “alright with you?” Cassie is pointing out that if he won’t “shoot it” (pursue a relationship with her) she can’t “hold it” (wait for him).

It’s also one of the most beautiful and sad songs I’ve ever heard, and thus with its wistful tone fits this tragic situation very well, even if the lyrics themselves are rather enigmatic.

You can download all ten songs, the cover art, and the lyrics and explanation here:

http://filesco.com/download.php?id=F16466041

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What a beautiful and well thought out fanmix. <3

Thanks! :)

Ah, very nice. =)

Aww, so bittersweet. These were one of my first ships, too. I hate that they ended like this.

*downloads*

Thanks!

.... hi, new to comm.
You guys are going to make me reread the whole series if you're not careful.

Great mix. Beautiful Disaster is just too perfect, too.

Well, we are doing a reread at the moment .... join usssss

By the way, I recognize you from some posts at sortofbeautiful. Hi!

ROFL, I'm from SOB as well! Including you two, myself, seeyouupside, and stretch_slider that makes at least FIVE SOB Animorphs fans--how funny! :D

I often don't call Jacob "Jake" because this Jake is so firmly ingrained in my mind as "Jake"! ;)

"Beautiful Disaster" always reminded me of Rachel/Tobias, y'know? Like "he drowns in his dreams" feels so Tobias-ish to me :p Plus, the "beautiful disaster" moniker really seems... appropriate for Tobias' situation. It's one of my favorite songs ever, though *___*

Yeah, I realize that it also fits Tobias and R/T nicely as well--but then by the end both Jake and Tobias are in similarly depressed/listless situations--Cassie and Marco were the only real survivors of the whole thing, even if Jake and Tobias pulled through physically. I still think it fits Jake and J/C really well though....it fits them both! ;)

I do think it fits them both well - I've just had it in my head as T/R for the longest time, haha, but the theme also applies to J/C at the end for sure. *sigh*

So much sadness. :(

I thought the same about Jake/Jacob!

As others have said, it's good to see some love for C/J. I thought they were a nice couple in the books (well before it all turned bad at the end).

By the way, can I add you? =)

Sure! :) I'm always happy to have more J/B and Ani-loving friends on LJ! ;)

GAHHHH JAKE AND CASSIE GAHHHH

I love all of your explanations.

and Michelle Branch=love. I always considered that particular CD (with Goodbye to You, etc) as my Animorphs CD. I always listen to it when I am in an Animorphs mood, etc. It really makes me think of them (all of the Animorphs, not just Jake and Cassie).

Great job. This is beautiful!! <3

Thanks! :) I'm glad you liked the explanations, I kind of wondered whether they were too long.....

I haven't heard the rest of the CD besides that one MB song--I'll have to check it out now!

so nice to see a jake/cassie mix. good job!

OMG FINALLY A J/C FANMIX! ♥ Thanks for doing this - I'm not even a huge fan of the couple but I was like, "wow, so much T/R and some M/R - where's the J/C love?" - and here it is!

Lol I know--I wanted J/C to represent a little! :p

But then from what I've seen R/T is definitely the more popular ship in the Ani fandom....so I guess it makes sense.

All these Animorphs mixes are inspiring me to do one of my own O__O; With J/C, T/R, and M/R in there... :p Everybody should get some love!

Broken: A Jake/Cassie Fanmix

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