animorphslj | Series re-read #44 The Unexpected

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Series re-read #44 The Unexpected

The Yeerks are transporting pieces of a crashed blade ship somewhere. The Animorphs want to get the scraps and show them to the world. But a string of bad decisions leaves Cassie stuck on board a plane. It's going to someplace with the letters SYD, but she doesn't know until after she lands where that's at. The controllers catch onto her and in the fight, she ends up bailing out. Now she's alone, in the middle of the Australian outback. And Visser Three is there too.

I know this one is gonna get dumped on, because of the last time around LOL.

I don't like the whole isolating a single character for the whole book thing. It doesn't do much for me not having the whole group involved in the adventure.

And according to one of our Australian fans, there are some not-so-good Aussie depictions or stereotypes in the whole thing.

At least next week's is a book I enjoy a little more.

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Okay, I know there are many, many issues that people would have with this book. Stereotypes being among them. And I am sure that others will go into great detail about them. However, there is one thing that is seriously, hopelessly, glaringly wrong with this book that I feel the need to point out.

To help illustrate this point, I have drawn a handy map. Examine this map closely, and see if you can figure out what is wrong with this book.

This is how planes usually fly form the US to Australia, and vise versa. I have personal experience of this, in fact, from when I visited the US. I traveled between Sydney and San Fransisco, and since the consensus is that the Animorphs lived somewhere in California, this provides a rough estimate. This is a fourteen hour flight. As you can see, there is pretty much NO LAND flown over during this flight. I know I spent some time wishing my plane would just land on one of those tiny islands we would see occasionally so that I could actually move around, but alas, that was not possible. It is water all the way.

And yet, somehow when Yeerks attack, Cassie is flying over the Australian Outback. Somewhere relatively close to Alice Springs, in fact. This is curious. Sydney is on the east coast of Australia. Alice Springs is somewhere near the middle. It takes several hours to get to Alice Springs form Sydney. Therefore, the only conclusion is that somehow, Cassie's plane took this flight plan:

Yes, apparently after spending at least fourteen hours flying over nothing but ocean using up lots of highly expensive fuel, this plane decided that the most effective way to Sydney was not to go directly there, but to spend a few extra hours flying over the goddamn outback before presumably turning around and going to Sydney again. We can't be sure, since Yeerks attacks. Possibly the plane was hijacked by people desperate to get to Perth. Possibly the pilot was an idiot, and about to crash the plane into Uluru. We will never know.

But, it's pretty clearly that this entire book is based of something which would never happen. Because if Cassie had really been on a plane headed to Sydney that was attacked by bug fighters someone in the middle of it, logically what should have happened was this:

And then, alas, from there we can only conclude that the next event was this:

Rest in peace, Cassie. Rest in peace.

But we can't have Cassie die, can we? Sure, all of the people who hate Cassie would rejoice, but there are people who like her! Or who at least don't want to see her dead on the ocean floor. But perhaps Cassie is fortunate. Perhaps when the plane crashes, it crashed near the end if it's journey, when it was close to Sydney:

At which point, Cassie is saved by a hot Aussie Bondi Lifeguard! Niiiiiiiiiice. Go Cassie! (Of course, just after being saved Cassie would then be berated for not swimming in between the flags and getting caught in a rip, thereby ruining all chance of a hot Lifeguard fling)

And several days later, Lourdes arrives, and all the other Animorphs are insanely jealous of the fact that Cassie got to spent a few days on holiday in Australia. Rachel will never forgive you for all the shopping you didn't do.

But what if the plane didn't crash close to Sydney? What if it just crashed somewhere out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, but Cassie was at least able to morph something that prevented her from dying on impact? There is no way she could swim to Australia or the US. Not even if she morphed. Where would she go?

Alas, after having managed to swim to a nearby island, Cassie spends the rest of her life there, slowly going insane and talking to a coconut. And anyone who ever managed to come close, by pure chance, will flee and forever tell tales about the strange animals that would yell at them in their heads for destroying the environment.

But! There is one last scenario. Cassie manages to get to the sea without dying: but there is no island nearby to swim to. No land anywhere nearby. Just ocean, on and on. She only has one option for survival: morph, and become a nothlit forever.

...at which point, she can meet up with Aftran and have an epic romance filled with hot lesbian whale sex! Or possibly hetrosexual whale sex. Maybe even yaoi sex. Since we don't actually know the genders of their morphs.

...and that concludes what is wrong with this book! ~~And yes, since I know you're all thinking it: I am clearly deranged for having thought up and bothering to draw all of this~~

(http://img31.imageshack.us/i/applausek.gif/)

Hah, any particular scenario, or ALL OF THEM AT ONCE? :P

Not a fan of this book at all. I'd probably rank it my second least favourite after #37.

The two main things that bugged me were the unecessity of the plot and the tone of the book. We've had "Cassie goes solo" in several books before this: #19, #29, even #34 to an extent. There's no way this book can do what those did better.

Secondly, I'm Australian, and wasn't heaps impressed with the way the book handled our country. Ignoring the many, many inaccuracies, it's the equivalent of someone flying to Los Angeles, getting in a plane crash, and being isolated with a bunch of Native Americans in the middle of Kansas. There's really no way Cassie would have been stuck out there for as long as she was and in the conditions she was in.

Or even just...look at a map? I mean, it's not hard to look at the Pacific Ocean and think, "hmm, after flying over all of that ocean, a plane's not really going to keep going before going back to Sydney, is it?"

~~also really I meant I'm more insane for bothering to draw pictures of all this and think up alternate scenarios orz~~

But if we had been realistic, we wouldn't have gotten MOAR SURGEON!CASSIE and MOAR RANDOM ALIEN TECHNOLOGY and that whole thing with the kangaroo army!

MOAR KANGAROOS

/kills self with alien shrapnel

ALL OF THEM AT ONCE, DEFINITELY.

But mostly the epic romance. I swear half the time Cassie had more ~sparks & tension~ with Aftran than Jake, anyway.

...Or she could have eloped with Whatshisface and his dog. I mean, that's legit too.

Clearly Whale!Cassie/Whale!Aftran should be everyone's new OTP

~~Though you're forgetting the hot Bondi lifeguard! Clearly she needs a fling with one of them too~~

Hah, thanks! (I'm glad someone likes my stick figures XD)

Why did the Australian book have to be a Cassie book? -_-

I mean, even back when I was younger and saw the cover of this, as soon as I saw the kangaroo, I knew it was going to be bad. Really bad.

I'm Aussie, and this book physically hurts me. -_- *goes and cuddles up with TAC again*

I did not really have an Animorphs OTP before this post.

That has since changed.

CASSIE/WHALE!AFTRAN 4EVA~

~~she can cheat on Aftran with the hot lifeguard because she's really human and has needs~~

They can have hot whale make out sessions in between attacking whaling ships and headbutting anyone who damages to Great Barrier Reef!

~~Poor Aftran. Always feeling that she's never enough...Cassie, how could you?!~~

That Whale Wars show just got a helluva lot more interesting.

~~the episode where Aftran confronts Cassie on her cheatin' ways will be the two-hour season finale~~

...There's a Whale Wars show?

~~It would be like Jerry Springer. With whales!~~

Whale Wars! (http://animal.discovery.com/tv/whale-wars/)

I bet you anything Cassie breaks up with that guy she hooks up with in 54 and finds Aftran, because Aftran will understand her. He can show up on the boat near the end of another season.

wow, late night HTML fail.

Jerry Springer. With whales!

You keep mentioning these things that don't exist, and it hurts my heart that they don't. Damn you with your hilarious scenarios!

If the movie that is never ever going to happen is made I demand bug fighters follow your plans.

It's alright /pats

And fffffffff "are you willing to risk your life for whales!" You know, I think you are indeed correct. Clearly Whale!Cassie and Whale!Aftran need to be in this show. Or, perhaps Cassie has in fact been having an affair with Aftran the whole time. In fact, Aftran and Cassie have probably been having a tumultuous on-and-off-again secret relationship ever since Aftran sailed off into the seas...

...Perhaps I could attempt to draw it? (although you know that stick figures and not-very-good-drawing skills would be involved, as you cans see from above...)

Well the books say that bug fighters look like bugs so IT COULD HAPPEN...~~maybe we'll get a cartoon somehow~~

Honestly I think this book could have been a bit more interesting if it had been someone like Marco or Tobias or something stuck in Aussie-land. Favorite part of the book was when Rachel and Tobias were making fun of Jake at the end :|

All those solo Cassie books?

Lies. She totally roofied the others and told them later that they had some sort of alien disease/field trip to the Hork Bajir homeworld/whatthefuckever.She was off with Aftran the whole time.

"I missed you too, Jake!"

LIES. >:O

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Series re-read #44 The Unexpected

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this is my new canon.

it would certainly make more sense than canon

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Re: it would certainly make more sense than canon

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